Fear. There are only 4 measly little letters in the word, but it sure packs a mean punch!
My friends Merriam and Webster describe fear as an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger. Strong emotion is right! Though I wish my fears were only brought on by actual danger. Usually it’s just me being chicken.
There are quite a number of things in this world that scare me. I hate that feeling when your stomach is tied in knots or you feel like you can barely breathe or your heart is beating a million times a minute or when it’s all happening at the same time! But then there’s that feeling you get when you overcome your fear — a rush of adrenaline, a sense of accomplishment, and it kind of makes it all worth it. Well, at least most of the time.
Like Ron Weasley, spiders have been a long time fear of mine. I’m not sure when this fear started. Unlike Ron, my brother never turned “my teddy bear into a great big filthy spider” and there isn’t any one thing that I recall triggering this fear. Unfortunately, it seems that I have this “spidey sense” for detecting these creepy creatures. Sometimes I wish I could just be oblivious to their existence, but alas, no such luck. In my younger days, each spider sighting would be immediately followed by a scream and then quickly followed by a yell for someone to come and eliminate the danger. However, over the years, I’ve been able to somewhat conquer this fear. Don’t get me wrong, the fear’s still there, but I’ve at least moved past the screaming and yelling, and I’m able to solve the problem all by my lonesome!
Though there are definitely those silly fears that I have yet faced. In elementary school (okay, okay, I was in 6th grade) my grandmother and her bf at the time took me to see the movie Jurassic Park. Bad idea. I think I made it through the first scene and then forced myself to fall asleep in Mamoo’s lap. I had nightmare’s for weeks, or was it months? Seriously, the parents thought I may need counseling. Though the nightmares of being attacked by dinosaurs have long since passed, I still have never seen that movie (though I have ridden the ride at Universal Studios and survived!). I keep thinking that one day, just maybe, I’ll actually sit down and watch the entire movie, or at least past the first scene. Though I may need to call in reinforcements to watch it with me, just in cases…
Back in April I was…let’s say roped for lack of a better word, into going to a CrossFit free class to see what Dan’s and Tuck’s non-stop CF talk was all about. And since my first class (or probably even before) CF has definitely been a fear factor in my life. Since my very first free class, CF has definitely scared me. Jumping up onto a 20 inch box, the thought of doing pull-ups and real push-ups, and lifting barbells — I mean come on, how is that not scary?!? My prior free weight training basically consists of lifting 25 lb dumbells max. And by max I mean the majority of the time it’s 5 lb or 10 lb weights. Needless to say, after my first free class, I spent basically the next week with ice packs close by my side (or more appropriately on my quads and hamstrings). Though for some crazy reason, even with all my post-workout pain, I kept going to free classes. And my ice packs (and pkgs of frozen broccoli) quickly became and remained for a number of weeks, my best friends.
After close to 2 months of free classes at basically every CF gym in NOVA, I signed up for elements - the classes you take to learn the basics. There were 8 classes total (though I happily missed one while the ‘rents were in town) over the course of 4 weeks. Gradually after each class, my CF fears vanished a little bit. That is until I started going to workouts of the day (WODs) after 4 classes. Currently my WOD total stands at 3. And before each class, the fear and the nerves are in overdrive. Seriously – it takes all the courage I can muster up to talk myself into changing into the workout gear and making the quick drive to my CF box (that CrossFit speak for gym). Yesterday I finished my final Elements class for CrossFit. So basically this means I start doing the WODs full time. Which also means that I’m going to be a nervous wreck before every class for the foreseeable future. Here’s hoping that one day soon my CFfears will become an all too distant memory. In the meantime, I’ll keep attempting to tackle this fear, one WOD at a time.
Yep, that’s life as B knows it.